To make noise when I'm sitting in a bathroom stall and I have neighbors? Shit, if you see my shoes not facing the toilet, then I am not pissing or vomitting. I am sitting. You can guess what's next. Why do we men try to be quiet as mice? Just for coincidence we finish at the same time and our eyes meet at the sink? So I wash my hands with soap and you just walk out? I don't understand.
At the gym today, I exercised, showered and returned to my locker. There were a lot of dudes in the area (they were using adjacent lockers). As I was changing and putting my clothes back on, I thought for second if I should forgo the long johns that I wore and put them away in my bag. For some reason I chose to wear them, but I put them on as fast as I could. If I were to hear any snickers from my neighbors I would look at them and ask what was so amusing.
Before I left to go home, I usually empty the tank before a nice subway ride home. I realized my longjohns were on backwards. I'm a genius.
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